Week 8 – The Loser Cousin Vote

Welcome to this week’s Judge’s Blog entry for Ultimate Music Challenge 4. If you have never been here before, please read the Introduction as it has all the pertinent information about judging, scoring, decibel meter readings, wild card voting, blog etiquette and so forth.

Once this Blog has been posted (3:30pm) you will have 12 hours to vote for your wildcard choice.

SPECIAL NOTE - Thanks to Anne Craig for taking over the photography details for Paul Parks. For anyone who would like to see more of her work, or buy 8×10 photos of the bands, you can visit her Facebook page and contact her there if needed.

Finally, Happy Memorial Day everybody! Let’s take a moment to remember what Memorial Day means before getting into the relative insignificance of a music contest.

Insert Moment of Silence for dead or wounded soldiers here…

I, for one, am aware of the fact that while we have the luxury of coming out to Viejas every Sunday to see these awesome bands battle it out for significant booty, real soldiers are fighting real battles in far away lands so we don’t have to.

THANKS!

And now, the winner of the final week of the Ultimate Music Challenge 4, preliminary rounds – and last entry into Heat 2 of the Semi-Finals, not counting the Wild Card winner, which will be announced shortly — is . . .

Old School!

Congratulations you Air-Supply-Medley-Playing-Yet-Somehow-Not-Pissing-Me-Off rock and rollers. Third time is a charm, eh?.

Speaking of third time and charming, I know what you’re thinking my beloved (though somewhat insane) Bloglodytes. I’ve been doing this long enough to know in advance which conspiracy theory will enter those jaded brains of yours. In this case, you’re thinking that, because Old School tried and failed twice before, the judges gave them the sympathy vote this time around.

To be honest, this is a conspiracy theory that isn’t all that farfetched.  Not that any of the judges would ever consciously do such a thing, but you never know what the subconscious mind is capable of. And, it’s no secret that we were rooting for Old School. At least, Alicia and I were. They are really swell fellows and have played UMC so many times now; they’ve become family. They’re like that loser cousin whom everyone in the family loves, but keeps blowing his money on get-rich-quick schemes so you feel bad for him and help him out financially from time to time.

I could totally see how people might think the judges would throw a little charity in Old School’s direction. Of course, we would never consciously give them the Loser Cousin Vote, but I could see how the judges’ subconscious minds might justify it. Naturally, I was aware of this going into the show. To combat that problem, I did not compare their scores (like I usually do) to consciously pick a winner. Instead, I did it blindly. I just put the numbers down that I felt each band deserved in each category and handed them in without tallying them.

Suffice to say, I was anxious to crunch the numbers this morning with the hopes that they would prove no conspiracy – conscious or subconcisous – occurred. It is my belief that the numbers have exonerated us. Let’s see if you agree.

Total Scores – Definitive
(Includes judges’ scores, crowd categories and penalties)

• Old School – 267.5
• INXS-ive – 253.5
• White Trash – 243.5 (-5 for time penalty)
• Queen Divas – 223.5
• Crosstown – 205

Crowd Noise
(Which bands the crowd preferred via db meter, from loudest to lowest)

1. Old School (shocker!)
2. White Trash a Go-Go
3. Queen Divas of the Universe (Tied for third)
4. Crosstown (Tied for third)
5. INXS-ive

Judges’ Picks – Collective
(These are the total scores given by the judges minus any crowd related categories – to determine who the judges collectively preferred)

• Old School 210.5
• INXS – 209.5
• White Trash – 201.5
• Queen Divas – 178
• Crosstown 160.5

Judges’ Picks – Individual
(These are the total scores given by each judge minus any crowd related categories – to determine who the judges individually preferred)

Richard

• Old School – 68.5
• White Trash – 67
• INXS – 65
• Crosstown – 55.5
• Divas – 55

Alicia

• INXS – 72
• Old School – 70
• White Trash – 68
• Divas – 61
• Crosstown – 53

Ed

• INXS – 72.5
• Old School – 72
• White Trash – 66.5
• Queen Divas – 61
• Crosstown – 52

So, what do the numbers tell us?

They tell us that even though the judges collectively picked Old School, two of the three judges individually picked INXS-ive. The only judge to score Old School highest was Richard, the guest judge, who had never seen Old School before, doesn’t know who they are and has no motive, consciously or subconsciously, to give them the Loser Cousin Vote.

It also tells us that it pays to pay for a party charter. That’s what Old School did; they carted their fans over on a booze-bus, gave them kazoos and made them part of the performance.

Absolutely brilliant.

Not only did that earn higher points in the showmanship categories, but it won them the crowd noise category as well. Crowd noise was a huge factor this time. Old School received 10 points (on each judge’s sheet) while INXS-ive received 7 points. That’s 3 enormous points per sheet, or 9 points total.

Keep in mind, the edge that Alicia and I collectively gave INXS-ive was 2.5, so the 9 points the crowd gave Old School rendered Alicia and I obsolete. (Note to bands playing semis – this party bus business is something to consider).

Oh, and why did I give INXS-ive the higher score even when INXS music makes my gonads blister? Well, because they did what a tribute band is supposed to do: they emulate their prototype. And they certainly did that. From the look, moves and voice of the lead vocalist, who clearly worked on his Michael Hutchence imitation, to the band as a whole – their tones and nuances – it was an extraordinary, almost flawless performance.

Old School, on the other hand, had minor flaws here and there, but I rocked out to them in ways I could never rock out to an INXS tribute. And yes, it is true, I was overjoyed to learn Old School had won – for the simple fact that I get to listen to more cool songs by a fun, great band and won’t have to hear songs like “The One Thing” or “Listen Like Thieves” (which should’ve been titled “The Dumb Thing” and “Listen Like Cheese” respectively).

Some Random Notes About the Contest.

White Trash: You guys were a musical monster truck rally in progress! I loved you from the first note. One of my new favorite moments of the UMC4 was when you played Boston’s “Foreplay” ( the majestic instrumental that precedes “Long Time”). It was a bummer about the vocals in “Long Time,” but the set was a blast regardless.

Later that night, at the V-Lounge, over a round of Rumplemintz, the singer told me he usually nails the vocals on “Long Time,” but from the minute he opened his mouth, he thought, “Uh-oh – this ain’t gonna go well.”

I believe that. He just seemed too smart to perform a song he didn’t think he could pull off, especially when it was clear he could nail so many other tunes. If it is true, I’d like to see them try that one again.

Queen Divas: I have to say, I was very worried for you guys during “Honky Tonk Woman,” and the beginning of “Piece of My Heart,” but the latter half of the set was gangbusters. Never in a million years did I think you were going to make those harmonies work, what with the utterly different types of voices you have. Maybe next time a little more lead vocals from the keyboardist? She’s lovely.

Crosstown: You guys aren’t bad. Just work on your dynamics. And singer-babe – this is not meant to be snide, but, perhaps some vocal lessons? More time in rehearsal? However you do it, you need to get more control over that bucking bronco voice of yours. It’s very powerful but needs some structure and discipline. Also, stop marching around the stage and start gliding. The way a front-man (or woman) moves is essential. Improve those two things and you will graduate  from average cover singer to thundering front-mama in no time.

Time Penalty: This is the second time a band has played over their alotted 20 minutes (approximately 23)  and like before, thankfully, it didn’t matter. But I’m telling you guys, one of these days, a band is gonna come in here, and they’re gonna go long, and we’re gonna whack ‘em for five points, and those five points will be all the difference. And now that we’re headed into the semi-finals, well, there’s just too much money on the line. It would break my heart of one of these most awesome bands gets knocked out because of a time foul.

Crowd Chatter During Judges’ Comments: I hear that the guys from Old School were going around the room hushing their fans during the judges’ comments. I think that’s really great. The Old School fans have a reputation now for being somewhat rude and chatty during the comments (the downside to a party bus I guess) and the band did a great job reminding them about that part of the show.

Look, I’m not anti-Old School fan. I fully understand the situation: You’re in a bar having fun, spirits are flowing, all your friends are there and it has probably been weeks since you’ve seen each other. You want to talk but there are three know-it-alls blathering musical jargon about a band you don’t care about.

I get that.

However. There is something else to consider. It’s called “other people.”

I don’t bring this up because  what we have to say is sooo important that you absolutely must listen to us. I don’t care if you don’t listen to us. Just don’t talk over us. Not because it’s rude to the judges (though there’s that), but because it’s rude to the other attendees, the ones who are interested in hearing what three know-it-alls have to say to a band about which they do care.

I can’t tell you how often people come up to the judges’ table to complain that they can’t hear what’s being said. We have tried different things, but it ultimately comes down to you guys. It’s just a matter of common respect, which we’re going to need because here come the semis, which means bigger crowds and louder chatter.

So, maybe we should all work together to spread the word. Perhaps the remaining bands can follow the Old School lead and politely ask their fans to simmer down during the commentaries, maybe in an email blast before the show. I think if we all take ownership of this we could actually see results. Just a thought, you know I love you – yes, even you Old School fans.

Well, there you go, the regular season of UMC4 has ended. ONWARD SEMI-FINALS. I simply cannot wait!

Ed Decker
Judge #3